On loss and serendipity.

I lost a lot this year. Friendships, family, a sense of purpose, a decline in health, and much more. It’s sad when this happens and it feels like an end of an era when things come to an end. I’ve lost many people this year for a few reasons. Things that can cause a breakdown of a friendship for instance; a lack of emotional investment, shallow behaviour, straight up betrayals of trust, selfishness, a crossing of boundaries, lifestyle changes, miscommunication, pack mentality, social climbing, I could go on.

But from what I’ve learned now that we’re nearing the end of 2021, is in fact loss can be a blessing. It can give way to a feeling of huge relief and a weight lifted. You can outgrow things, places and people. You don’t have to continue to operate in spaces that gave you a traumatic experience, or around people that knowingly or unknowingly caused you pain. You can say no - and you can get out. If you ever feel like you can’t leave a situation, place or person, I know how that feels. It is not the end! and I wish you all the love, freedom and healing. It gets better, honestly.

The thing is with loss, fate has a funny way of making sure you’ll eventually end up in the right place. I can say from experience, it certainly won’t be around those that caused you pain. You’ll look back and think, what the hell was I thinking? Was I blind? Am I really that stupid? But here’s the most important thing. Will you ever do that again? Hell no.

There will be grief, there will be healing that needs to occur. You will probably say and do things that you might regret later. But knowing that whatever happens, the universe always has your back. You can make these mistakes and you can learn how to better protect yourself next time. You might also meet some wonderful people who love you and know you on a deeper level than those whom you’ve known for many years. I’ve met some really beautiful souls this year and I am so so grateful that fate brought us together. You know who you are.

I’ve been searching for that good place for as long as I can remember and with a fortunate stroke of serendipity, that good place found me. I can safely say right now I have found that place. I’m really looking forward to what the new year brings. From all the things I thought I lost, I actually gained a hell of a lot more than I bargained for.

Cheers to that. And cheers to this little zine I made in 2020, which I’m very proud of and will be printing my first edition of next year. Now that’s something to look forward to.

All the love, always.

Alexandra x